He slips me two business cards on the coffee table. The first one reads like this: Man Meets Woman: Attraction Coaching for Men. Ronald is in his 30's, of Asian origin, with a round face, a concerned voice and wearing an ordinary grey jacket. Not exactly the type you would think would be a coach of seduction. However his clients pay anywhere between 200$-2000$ to learn how to seduce women. “You don't need money, a nice car, or a high paying job to attract girls,” he says. “You just need to learn how to communicate with them”.
On the second card, is the web address of his second site, Seductionboard.com. Much like his counterparts, Ronald comes from a small community of seducers, a sub-culture of guys who range in skills and go out to the bars and share their techniques on the internet. He admits to having founded the first seduction group in Vancouver in 2003.At first, the group was composed of 2-3 other guys, but grew to a membership of 200; a number which is comparable to Montreal, Toronto and other American towns. “Obviously guys need help” says Ronald, also known as Docandwriter in the community.
Referred to as a self-help movement for men by the community, it centers around gurus who are known for their prowess and skills with women. Each of them teaches their own brand of seduction often at a rather expensive price. However it seems that their approach is divided into two categories: direct and indirect. The indirect method is the most widespread. It focuses on showing indifference and disinterest. The proponents of this method say that you should not pay for anything and never give compliments. Learning scripts and canned lines are often encouraged. The second method, the direct, says that you should put everything on the table at once. One of the most influential in this method is Zan Perrion. “What is taught in the community is that you should tell interesting stories, mask your intentions and build attraction by using techniques.” “I teach guys how to assume they are attractive. There is still a certain percentage of men who can buy her a drink and still charm her. Whatever the approach, guys try to enhance their confidence, also called inner game, and social aptitudes, also called outer game. “Seduction can be learned, either the hard way on your own, or the easy way, through coaching” says Ronald.
Self Esteem
The lessons are given in private or in a group setting. For a few hours, the coach gives both theory and practice. He then brings guys to bars, malls, etc… and tells them to pickup girls. For some, this is as hard as climbing Mount Kilimanjaro. You must then go step by step. Open a conversation and keep it going. Find an emotional connection, create sexual tension. If possible, the coach will correct his student in the field. If they can't do that, they will correct him later much like a tennis coach after a game. Most of those who follow these types of courses prefer to remain anonymous. “Because they are afraid, or unsure, of their masculinity” says Ronald. “If you are a man, you are supposed to know how to meet girls, if not then what are you? A guy wouldn't know where to put himself, between the metrosexual or the ubersexual.” For Zan Perrion the ideal is to be between the two. Not a like a gay man, nor a macho man, but a man who doesn't need women to have a fulfilled life. To reach a happy medium, the two coaches from Vancouver say that it’s not all about learning seduction. What guys don't realize is that they learn techniques and tricks and think they have the answer, but it is merely the beginning. The thing that truly matters the most is inside you. “The big problem,” says Ronald, “is that a guy will start to learn tricks and then think that tricks are the answer. But that is barely getting his foot in the door, there is so much more beyond that.” “Most guys worry too much about their hair, if they have something in their teeth, or if they look good.” says Zan. Ronald thinks that the more people learn about seduction, the less taboo and more legitimate it will become. Wouldn't it be great if men can learn this and women could realize that this is an area that men struggle with?
Marc Allard
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